◆   Private Investment Group  ·  Est. 2022   ◆

Rope Swing Investments

Questionable Ethics.
Impeccable Taste.

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RSI Not Registered With The SEC Past Performance Does Not Guarantee Future Results, Especially Ours Not Your Financial Advisor Consult A Professional Who Actually Has Licenses All Investments Carry Risk, Particularly This One We're Just Here To Have A Good Time Questionable Ethics · Impeccable Taste RSI Not Registered With The SEC Past Performance Does Not Guarantee Future Results, Especially Ours Not Your Financial Advisor Consult A Professional Who Actually Has Licenses All Investments Carry Risk, Particularly This One We're Just Here To Have A Good Time Questionable Ethics · Impeccable Taste

We Came. We
Saw. We Invested.

Rope Swing Investments was founded in 2022 by a group of close friends — CEOs, attorneys, physicians, engineers, and real estate professionals — who decided that pooling capital together was a far better use of their collective intelligence than, say, reasonable financial caution.

We've built programs and portfolios designed to meet long-term financial goals. Have questions about investments, taxes, retirement, and estate planning? You should probably talk to someone other than us. We're just here to have a good time making money.

"The best investment strategy is one your friends will actually agree to."

We operate with full transparency — which means you'll always know exactly how little we know about what we're doing. And we're okay with that.

2022
Year Founded
After several rounds of drinks
11
Partners
All still speaking to each other
~2K
Units in Portfolio
Multifamily, across 5 states
0
SEC Violations
That we know of

How We Think About
Making Money

Our investment thesis is grounded in rigorous analysis, time-tested principles, and a group chat that moves very fast. Below are the three pillars that guide every decision we make.

I.

Real Assets in Real Places

We focus on multifamily real estate in markets with strong fundamentals — population growth, employment diversity, and landlords who return calls. Our primary vehicle is a strategic partnership with an established operator we trust deeply. This mitigates risk. Mostly.

* Results not guaranteed. Ask us about our operator.

II.

Patient Capital, Impatient Group Chat

Real estate rewards patience. We are long-term investors who understand that compounding takes time. Our principals, however, do not always share this understanding at 11pm on Saturdays. We manage accordingly.

* Volume is muted at board meetings for safety.

III.

Aligned Incentives, Misaligned Expectations

Every RSI partner has meaningful skin in the game. We eat what we cook, ride what we build, and swing from the same rope. This creates accountability. It also means everyone has an opinion on everything, which keeps our legal counsel very busy.

* Grizzly bills by the hour.

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RSI Situation Room // INTELLIGENCE TERMINAL
SYSTEMS NOMINAL  ·  AUTO-REFRESH: 10 MIN  ·  INITIALIZING…
Market Intelligence // Equities & Commodities
S&P 500
VIX
GOLD
NASDAQ
DOW
BTC
ETH
SOL
AVAX
RSI Threat Assessment
CURRENT THREAT LEVEL
Calculating…
Awaiting VIX data…
Macro Conditions // Federal Reserve Data
FED FUNDS RATE loading
CPI YoY loading
UNEMPLOYMENT loading
10-YR TREASURY loading
CONSUMER SENTIMENT loading
RSI TEAM SENTIMENT 94.0perpetually bullish
RSI PORTFOLIO DEPLOYEDfully committed
Real Estate Intelligence // U.S. Multifamily & Housing Market · FRED Data
Affordability & Demand Drivers
30-YR MORTGAGE RATE loading
MEDIAN HOME PRICE loading
HOMEOWNERSHIP RATE loading
CASE-SHILLER HPI loading
EST. RENT-BUY MONTHLY PREMIUM
Calculating…
Why renters rent. Why RSI invests.
Supply Pipeline // New Construction
MF PERMITS (5+ UNITS) units/mo
TOTAL HOUSING STARTS units/mo
NEW HOME SUPPLY (MOS.) months
10-YR TREASURY cap rate anchor
Analyzing supply pipeline…
Rental Market Health
NATIONAL VACANCY RATE loading
MEDIAN ASKING RENT loading
REAL RESIDENTIAL INV. loading
RSI PORTFOLIO STATUS DEPLOYED11 properties
Analyzing rental market conditions…
RSI Proprietary Intelligence // Not Financial Advice
RSI vs. S&P 500 · trailing 12 months · Source: proprietary methodology & gut feelings
Commitment to the fund as a % of available bandwidth. Excludes golf, group text avoidance & sabbaticals.
Principal Status Board // Last Known Positions
Hawk
MONITORING
3 positions open. Coffee count: 4. Prescribed one (1) old fashioned to a dying man on a mountain. Results: disputed.
// Classified Dossier
Deals Sourced3
Coffee Consumed847 cups
Response Time~4 min avg
Medical LicenseN/A. Prescribes anyway.
Eagle
DEPLOYED
Nature of activity: "a big swing." Classification level: undisclosed. Posture: extremely confident.
// Classified Dossier
"Big Swing" StatusActive
Risk Assessment"It'll be fine"
Confidence Level110%
Backup PlanNone filed
Grizzly
IN CHAMBERS
Reviewed the LPA again. Finding: "We're fine." This is the 14th review. Not billable to RSI. Grizzly disagrees.
// Classified Dossier
LPA Reviews (YTD)14
Hours Billed to RSI0 (disputed)
Liability Exposure"Minimal" — Grizzly
Actual Liability[REDACTED]
PeeeDeee
PITCHING
Mid-close. Please hold. Victory lap pre-scheduled. Close rate: historic. No further questions.
// Classified Dossier
Close Rate94% · self-reported
Active Pitches3
Victory Laps Pending1
Humility IndexUnder review
Grapey-Jay
STABILIZED
Summit survived. Hawk's emergency prescription (1 old fashioned) declined. Wellness credentials: under internal review.
// Classified Dossier
Wellness Initiatives4 proposed
Adopted by Others0
Hike Survivals1 (recent)
Old Fashioned RxDeclined
TC Cool
FILING
Motion to dismiss the group chat. Grounds: emotional distress, chronic GIF abuse. Opposing counsel: everyone else.
// Classified Dossier
Motions Filed1 (vs. group chat)
GIFs Received847
GIFs Sent[REDACTED]
Case OutcomePending. We'll win.
Scraps
ON SABBATICAL
Day 847. No return date filed with HR. Benefits: active. Equity: held in trust. Portfolio: unaffected.
// Classified Dossier
Days on Sabbatical847
Benefits AccruingYes (somehow)
Return ETATBD
HR ResponseResigned to it
iPhone-less
UNDER REVIEW
Unidentified rectangular device observed. Ecosystem: unknown. Quarterly Android defense: 2,400 words. Audience: unmoved.
// Classified Dossier
Android Defenses4 this year
Principals Convinced0
Bubble ColorGreen. Always.
Device: Superior?Yes. (ask iPhone-less)
Ghost
NO SIGNAL
Last confirmed alive: 1 Instagram like, 3 weeks ago. Has not responded to requests for comment. Or texts. Or calls.
// Classified Dossier
Texts Received847
Texts Responded To3
Proof of Life1 Instagram like
ExistenceTheoretical
Patty-Cakes
RECONCILING
Q3 expense reports: week 11 of requesting. Submissions received: zero. Tone of follow-up emails: deteriorating rapidly.
// Classified Dossier
Expense Req. Sent11
Reports Received0
Email ToneDeteriorating
Sanity RemainingDeclining
Red Ryno
BEHIND THE BAR
Cocktail menu "almost final." Fourth consecutive quarter this update has been filed. HR is aware. We stand by him.
// Classified Dossier
Menu Versions4 (and counting)
Cocktails Served
Finalization ETAQ5
QualityUnquestioned
RSI INTELLIGENCE
BREAKING: Ghost has acknowledged a group text. Analysts describe event as "unprecedented." Response time: 11 days. MEDICAL ALERT: Grapey-Jay survived summit approach. Attending physician Hawk prescribed one (1) old fashioned at camp. Patient: horrified but alive. PERSONNEL: Scraps sabbatical enters undisclosed phase. HR confirms no return date filed. Portfolio: unaffected. Weasel: heraldic. LEGAL: TC Cool has filed a class action against the RSI group chat citing "chronic GIF abuse and unprompted hot takes." Damages: unspecified. TECH DESK: iPhone-less observed handling unidentified rectangular device. Ecosystem unknown. Investigation: initiated. Green bubbles: confirmed. FINANCE: Patty-Cakes has issued his 11th consecutive request for Q3 expense reports. Submissions received: zero. Tone of request: deteriorating. OPERATIONS: Red Ryno reports RSI signature cocktail menu "almost finalized." This is the fourth consecutive quarter this update has been filed. FIELD REPORT: Eagle has initiated what sources describe as "a big swing." Nature of activity: classified. Confidence level: dangerously high. LEGAL DESK: Grizzly has completed his 14th review of the LPA this quarter. Conclusion unchanged: "We're fine." Hours billed: substantial. MARKET UPDATE: PeeeDeee mid-close. Do not interrupt. Victory lap pre-scheduled. If you're reading this, there's a nonzero chance PeeeDeee is why. WELLNESS DESK: Grapey-Jay has resumed manifesting following the mountain incident. Credentials under review. Serenity: restored. Hawk: unapologetic. SITUATION ROOM: Hawk monitoring 3 open positions simultaneously. Has not blinked since Tuesday. Coffee count: 4 and rising. BREAKING: Ghost has acknowledged a group text. Analysts describe event as "unprecedented." Response time: 11 days. MEDICAL ALERT: Grapey-Jay survived summit approach. Attending physician Hawk prescribed one (1) old fashioned at camp. Patient: horrified but alive. PERSONNEL: Scraps sabbatical enters undisclosed phase. HR confirms no return date filed. Portfolio: unaffected. Weasel: heraldic. LEGAL: TC Cool has filed a class action against the RSI group chat citing "chronic GIF abuse and unprompted hot takes." Damages: unspecified. TECH DESK: iPhone-less observed handling unidentified rectangular device. Ecosystem unknown. Investigation: initiated. Green bubbles: confirmed. FINANCE: Patty-Cakes has issued his 11th consecutive request for Q3 expense reports. Submissions received: zero. Tone of request: deteriorating. OPERATIONS: Red Ryno reports RSI signature cocktail menu "almost finalized." This is the fourth consecutive quarter this update has been filed. FIELD REPORT: Eagle has initiated what sources describe as "a big swing." Nature of activity: classified. Confidence level: dangerously high. LEGAL DESK: Grizzly has completed his 14th review of the LPA this quarter. Conclusion unchanged: "We're fine." Hours billed: substantial. MARKET UPDATE: PeeeDeee mid-close. Do not interrupt. Victory lap pre-scheduled. If you're reading this, there's a nonzero chance PeeeDeee is why. WELLNESS DESK: Grapey-Jay has resumed manifesting following the mountain incident. Credentials under review. Serenity: restored. Hawk: unapologetic. SITUATION ROOM: Hawk monitoring 3 open positions simultaneously. Has not blinked since Tuesday. Coffee count: 4 and rising.
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The Principals

The men behind the titles. Results may vary.

Hawk
01
"Hawk"
Founder & Chief Investment Officer

Visionary. Risk-taker. The man who said "what if we just pooled our money?" and somehow made it a real company. Head of Crazy Ideas and the reason this website exists.

Eagle
02
"Eagle"
Founder & Chief Swinger

Trophy husband. Living his best life. Keeps morale at an institutional high and motivates the team through example — specifically, the example of someone who has genuinely figured it out.

Grizzly
03
"Grizzly"
Founder & Head Legal Counsel

In charge of all that really boring law and compliance stuff. The only person in the room who reads the documents. Responsible for every disclaimer on this website. Bills by the hour.

PeeeDeee
04
"PeeeDeee"
Founder & Head of Sales & Marketing

Will sell it to you whether you need it or not. RSI's most persuasive asset. If you're reading this website, there's a nonzero chance PeeeDeee is why.

Grapey-Jay
05
"Grapey-Jay"
Chief of Corporate Wellness

Blew a .22 on his last breathalyzer. Has almost been banned from France twice. Keeps the team loose. We do not ask questions about the France situation.

TC Cool
06
"TC Cool"
Chief of Class Action Litigation

No one has more experience in his field. His field is very specific. We support him fully and ask no further questions in the interest of everyone involved.

Scraps
07
"Scraps"
Ex-Chief Smolderer & Sabbatical Champion

Currently on sabbatical for taking other people's girls. His heraldic weasel says everything. We wish him well and hold his equity in trust. The portfolio has not suffered.

iPhone-less
08
"iPhone-less"
Chief Android Fanboy & Head of Biotech

Every firm has a contrarian. Ours also heads our biotech division, which tells you a lot about both decisions. His texts appear in green bubbles. We have made peace with this.

Ghost
09
"Ghost"
Chief Ghost

Didn't get an answer to your correspondence? This guy. Will also ghost your lady. Has not responded to requests for a bio. We're leaving this here as proof he exists.

Patty-Cakes
10
"Patty-Cakes"
Chief Financial Officer

Numbers and stuff. Been laundering since 1995. That's a joke. Probably. Keeps the books, reconciles the accounts, and has never once been subpoenaed.

Red Ryno
11
"Red Ryno"
Chief Mixologist

Makes the most delicious old fashioned you've ever had. Watch out. Seriously though. Watch out. HR is aware. This is his formal bio and we stand by it.

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Portfolio

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Classy enough for the boardroom. Durable enough for wherever Grapey-Jay ends up.

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Legal Disclaimer

Rope Swing Investments is a privately held investment group and is not a registered investment adviser, broker-dealer, or financial planning firm. Nothing on this website constitutes investment advice, a solicitation, or a recommendation to buy or sell any security or financial instrument.

Past performance does not guarantee future results, particularly ours. All investments involve risk, including the possible loss of principal. If you have questions about your financial situation, you should consult a licensed professional — not us. We're flattered you're reading this, but we are not the people to ask.

The nicknames, titles, and bios contained herein are intended for entertainment purposes among consenting adults who already know each other. Grizzly reviewed this disclaimer and said it was fine. That's probably good enough.